What we know about Abbie and the things we are learning....

It is customary for families to be given an update on their child on adoption day.  I thought I would share the information we got about Abbie:

She is from Maoming Social Welfare she was brought to the orphanage gate at 20 months with a note.  She has been in Maoming since this time for a total of almost 6 years.  At night she slept with a foster family as well as lived with them on the weekends.  In her foster family she had two brothers and a sister.  She can walk, run, jump, climb and ride a tricycle.  She doesn't know any English.  She can speak!! Personality: she wants attention.  She may be nervous in new places.  If someone she knows stays with her she will not be so nervous.  She is strong-willed.  She wants to be the boss.  She will be shy when meeting new people.  She does not like to talk to strangers and will put her head down.  She is a good eater she will tell you if food is salty or sweet.  When she stayed at the orphanage she likes to take care of the little ones.  She likes to play with them.  If she stays with strangers she will normally be shy.  She is quiet, shy, likes to smile, likes pretty dresses, likes to play outside, likes to help foster parents do house work.  She likes toys, Barbie dolls, cloth dolls, music box, building blocks, legos.
Here below is a picture of the documents the orphanage gave us - its a journal so to speak of her life while she lived in Maoming - its all in Chinese but the pictures are priceless and we will have it translated.

That was the information we were given on Monday.  Right away I knew she was strong willed and I would add - doesn't like to share.

What we have learned these past few days:

She LOVES to smile and her smile is infectious.  She has the cutest giggle and she likes to giggle as well.  She has two emotions - happy and mad and these can change in an instant.  She loves to wash her hands (she is her daddy's girl) She likes to color and is very good at it.  She is a touchy feel kind of a girl.  She and Luke will get along well.  She likes to be a mama hen - Linnea is not very fond of this.  What's hers is hers and no one else can have it much less touch it.  If she sees something she likes she is going to take it and likely hide it.  For example - David and I were missing our watches - we found one under her pillow and the other one under a stack of coloring books.  Last night after I put the girls to bed I could hear something going on in the room - went back in to find Abbie digging through David's backpack and putting what she wanted from his backpack into her backpack  She's quite a character.  If she is hungry or tired her mood changes dramatically - the combination of this would not be good news for us.  She has to eat and must have a nap.  Her mood swings are unpredictable - its hard to know if this is part of the grief process or is this part of her personality - and could it be due in part to the special need she was born with.  I don't know....

I look at Linnea and constantly remind myself of what a difference a year makes.  I am thankful for this reminder as we learn Abbie and begin to parent her.  We know this is part of God's sovereign plan and trust His timing and His plan.  The days ahead of us will be joyful and painful for all parties involved - but don't we all have good days and bad days.  I from time to time would read a blog of a fellow adoptive mama who has adopted three children and one of them being older and suffered through quite a traumatic experience - while Abbie has not suffered the same traumatic experiences - she certainly has suffered and in ways I can't imagine and in ways different from Linnea.  Being a parent of adopted children is certainly a calling and definitely requires wisdom.  I am  thankful that God promises to give us wisdom when ask for it.  Here's to the days ahead....

both girls having a moment...

one of my new favorite pictures!!

the good, the bad, and the ugly ....

I feel like I have somewhat of a "clear mind" in our guide Miko's words... David has taken Nathan to the pool, and the girls are in the bathtub so I am going to attempt to begin this post - it might be long it might be short - it just depends on how this night progresses -  thats just one of the many unknowns in my life right now...

I think I will start with the ugly......ugly might not be the best descriptive word out there - but lets just say some things about adoption are not pretty.  I have said it before and I will continue to remind myself that my own adoption was not pretty - it was actually horrific - but boy am I ever glad Christ was willing to go through the horrific just for me.  So Monday's gotcha day was rough.  I have been sitting here at the computer for quite some time and I just can't seem to get past that sentence.  Monday was a long day and I at one point felt like I was in a pit and couldn't get out - and not that I just couldn't get out but that I had drug my whole family down there with me. The 23 Psalm was near and dear to my heart this day - clearly I wasn't walking through death but I was in a valley and it wasn't pretty.  I went into the Civil Affairs office where we were to meet Abbie with no emotion.  I had no idea what to expect.  I can say during this whole time of preparing for her to come home I have reminded myself over and over to expect to be surprised.  I think I was more thinking that in terms of her cognitive well being and it never occurred to me what her social well being might look like and what grieving would look like for her.  I am so thankful that we had Nathan and Linnea with us as we met her as I think they were very beneficial in bringing her in our fold.  She came out in her matching dress and bent right down to Linnea.  (I should note here Linnea is not fond of having a big sister around and is very much jealous and she does not like Abbie touching her all the time.)  If it weren't for the kids I am not sure Abbie would have willingly come sit over by us.  We had been told the day before when Abbie sees something she wants she is going to go after it - even if it means putting it in her pocket.  We saw this when she saw the gifts we had brought for her.  She wanted them right away.  She is very strong willed - something else we noticed right away.  Just within the first few minutes of meeting her fear and doubt begin to set in with me.  She didn't want to be touched or bothered - she wanted what was hers and that was it.  This was nothing like Linnea's gotcha day - that day was a fairy tale so to speak and I was longing for those kind of moments.  As the afternoon progressed things got worse.  Abbie refused to be in pictures with us and then she had a meltdown which included kicking, head butting, pinching and hitting all while I am holding her.  This was heart wrenching and I lost it emotionally as well.  Abbie was grieving and this was her way of doing it.  I had been prepared for tears but the rest not so much.  It was HARD.  Even today as I sit here and right this I cannot begin to imagine what must have been going through her mind or even what is going through her mind right now.  We somewhat got ourselves together and made it back to the hotel.  We came in and she wanted a bath so the girls got a bath. This seemed to make her happy.  Then she wanted her fingernails painted like Linnea's.  Well that started out ok but didn't end so well.  We are not even sure what set her off but the tantrum ensued and she again kicked, hit, head butted, pinched and cried, until she fell asleep.  At this point I was physically and emotionally spent.  And to be honest I was missing the sweetness that I had on Linnea's gotcha day.  This day had been traumatic for all parties involved.  The funny thing is last year when we adopted Linnea and she did so remarkably well - our friends Daniel and Jenny adopted too and their daughter was not doing so well - she screamed and cried and didn't want to be held but didn't want to be put down and David and I can remember saying we're praying for you guys... the couple we adopted with this week had a seamless transition and said those very words to us "we're praying for you guys"  We for sure are feeling the prayers of His people as we make little strides everyday.  The meltdowns are fewer - we see evidences of Gods graces everyday!!

The bad - well so we have gotten word that the United States Consulate has been closed for an emergency.  This is not good news.  The Consulate Appointment is the last thing you do in China and it is your ticket home.  You cannot leave until you have this appointment.  Our appointment is not until next week.  We have been told that they are closed all week and are not sure when they will reopen - however when they reopen all the people that had appointments this week will be first to have their appointments whenever they do reopen and this will push all the other appointments to a later date.  What does this mean for us - well so far we are being told that it looks like our stay will have to be extended for a few more days.  We do not have confirmation of this - but we have been given the official heads up.  At this point if that does happen we are thinking that David will go ahead and fly home with Nathan and Linnea and I will stay here with Abbie as we wait for a consulate appointment.  The hard thing right now is how to handle flights as we don't know for sure when I would get to come home.  And we don't know for sure if we will even be affected - but we are preparing for it just in case.  Please pray for us and all the families affected by this - there are a lot of us here right now and not just from our agency.  Lots of mama's and daddies wanting to get back home.

The good - I must end on a good note!!  Abbie is doing well considering the circumstances.  I mean she  has known nothing but an orphanage for the last 6 years and then the foster family she stayed with at night and on the weekends.  I can't begin to fathom this.  She has two emotions happy and mad there is not middle ground with her.  For the most part she is happy!! We love her giggle.  And she can talk!!  She calls us mama and baba (daddy) she repeats things we say to her and she knows her new English name!  She likes to love on us and be cuddled.  She is ours!!! And most importantly we feel your prayers.  I was telling a friend earlier - this is spiritual warfare for us.  Satan would love nothing more than to have Abbie and lots of other orphans left here in this country where people hang crazy pictures on their doors to scare the demons away.  God is good and sovereign and HE is right here with us.

I can feel my eyes starting to get very sleepy - so I will post some pics for you and head to bed.  So far we have gotten Abbie, made it official, and applied for her passport.  Tomorrow is a tourism day.  Thanks for keeping up with us!! Much love!!

Beijing Day 2

After a long fun filled day in Beijing on Friday I think we were toast once we got back to our hotel room!! Much needed sleep was had by all!!  We woke up Saturday morning tracked down our missing luggage and got the packed up as we were heading out that night to come to Guangzhou.  We wanted Saturday to be more of a relaxing non rushed day and it turned out to be just that.  We had another amazing breakfast - side note - all breakfast here in China is super good!!  After breakfast we met our friendly tour guide Eric and headed out to the city center.  It was much more crowded on the streets of Beijing with it being the weekend.  Also Eric said that the months of May and October are the busiest months of the year in China as far as tourism is concerned.  For example that day it was an hour wait just to get a ticket to the Forbidden City.  Thankfully that was not on our agenda as we had done it last year and didn't think the kids were old enough to enjoy that tour right now.  We did stop at Tienanmen square and walk around to the outside of the Forbidden City.  It was neat for Nathan to be able to see in person some of the history that he had learned during our homeschooling year.  Chinese people really know their history- the facts they recall is pretty incredible.  The sad part to me is that they don't know all of their history.  They learn about what happened in the square and things about the revolution from people like us - foreigners.  Nathan was pretty fascinated by seeing all the military all over the place in the sqaure and he enjoyed seeing the mote around the Forbidden City.  After stopping at the city center we headed out to the Hutong Village and took a tour in rickshaws around this old old city in Beijing.  We even got to go in house.  In this village in these homes there is no bathroom.  You have to use the public restroom.  I cannot even fathom living that way - but they are totally accustomed to it - and I am sure they would think our way of living to be quite different as well.  After our Hutong tour we returned to the hotel to get ALL of our luggage and grab some lunch.  At this point Nathan was ready for some American food so we hit the trusty Mcdonalds.  Can we say yum - sort of.  Nathan thought it tasted like home - so I was glad for him.  After eating we then headed out to the market.  This is the place where all the foreigners go to bargain for lots of different things - mainly pearls and knock off purses, watches, and shoes.  If there is one thing I do well its drive a hard bargain.  This is always a fun part of the trip for me as when I say just the few things I know in Chinese the market people get all surprised and it makes for great conversation.  And let me just say I am a better bargainer than my husband :-)  and I always walk away wondering if I could have bargained them down farther.  We probably disappointed so many as we didn't buy much - after all its fake - but they do crack me up trying to tell me its not!!  We did visit our friends pearl market and had a good time there.  We picked out some pearls to give to Abbie on her wedding day.  Linnea got a little pair of earrings and Nathan made as strand of pearls to give to his future wife one day.  After our market experience we sat down at a starbucks as we waited for our guide to come back and pick us up.  I am so glad we did this - as Nathan sat down and being the social butterfly he is - he started speaking to the lady sitting next to him and she was an American.  Her and her husband were there visiting friends they actually are working in Korea.  And the friends they were meeting volunteer at Maria's Big House of Hope - that is the orphanage christian songwriter/singer  Steven Curtis Chapman sponsors.  They were going there to volunteer over the weekend!!  How kind of God to give us this sweet experience.  They asked if they could take our picture and pray for us as we were in China. I LOVE how God is in all the details.  So gracious to hear a familiar language and to speak with believers who have a heart for the orphan!!  Makes my heart joyful!!

After all this we headed back to the Airport to say goodbye to Beijing and hello to Guangzhou.  Here are a few pics from our Saturday in Beijing.  Enjoy!!

Gotcha Day thoughts...

I am mentally, emotionally and physically spent.  Today was one of the toughest days I have ever faced.  Abbie came out to us all smiles wearing the matching dress we had made for her.  She really loved Linnea and I can't quite say that Linnea loved her right away but she is warming up to big sister.  Abbie is VERY strong willed.  She did great right up until we were about to leave the civil affairs office and then she had a meltdown which included kicking, hitting, and crying.  I just held her as that is all I can do for her at this point.  She eventually calmed down and we made it back to the hotel.  Just as a I thought things were going well - we had another meltdown which this time included pinching.  Have I mentioned she is strong willed.  I eventually got her to her bed where I laid down with her flailing and crying.  She eventually fell asleep.  I have a gazillion of thoughts and emotions floating around right now - but for now I need sleep.  Please pray for us we are in the trenches!!  As I was holding Abbie today during her fit I was reminded of how often I throw a fit - yet God never has me out of the palm of His hand.  May Abbie find peace and rest in His hand as well.  I am sure David will catch you up later.  Much love! ~LeighAnn

my thoughts - pre Abbie moment....

I know I said a post about our second day in Beijing would follow - but even with all the fun we had in Beijing that is not what occupies my mind now.  Its 3 am here and I cannot sleep - not for lack of trying.  In less than 12 hours lives are going to be completely changed dramatically.  I know how I am feeling - I cannot fathom what may or may not be going through Abbie's mind right now.  Hopefully she is sleeping much better than I am.

This "gotcha" day is so completely different from Linnea's.  I was reading back to last years post the hours before we were about to get Linnea - while most of my feelings are the same - there are new added emotions.  Last time I had no idea what to expect - this time I am going into this day with a different perspective on a number of levels as today won't be  my "first rodeo" so to speak.  Abbie is 8, Linnea was 2.  Abbie spent most of her time in an oprhanage while sleeping at night in a foster home, she has been cared for by 3 different nannies.  Linnea was transitioned from place to place but had the same foster family for the last 10 months she was in China. Abbie was brought to the orphanage at the age of 2 she was not a baby.  Abbie has been exposed to the Chinese language and culture for much longer than Linnea.  Abbie is not a baby who can just be picked up and toted everywhere or swaddled all up in mommy's arms.  I won't swoop down and pick up Abbie as I did Linnea.  I will touch her and hug her and love on her if she will allow me - I wonder will she? Will she be happy for this moment - will she cry big crocodile tears when all the people she has ever known say goodbye to her.  Will she want to go with us? Does she even understand this concept of family and how her life is about to change?  I don't know the answers to any of these questions swirling around in my head.

We had a meeting yesterday with our guide Miko and the other family who is here in our Lifeline group whose daughter is also from the Guangdong province.  This is their first adoption.  They are a deaf couple who is adopting a deaf thirteen year old girl.  Super neat family and I'll try and post more on them later (by the way blogging when you bring kids along isn't as easy as it was when it was just the two of us - so thank you faithful followers for being ever so patient - I remember what its like to be on your end sitting on the edge of your computer hitting refresh hoping for an update...I digress...) Anyway Miko was sharing what things will be like tomorrow and what to expect and how the girls might react.  At one point in our meeting she looked at me closely and she said - "the orphanage director wants me to tell you - your daughter does not communicate well.  She does not talk so you can understand her.  It is not very clear.  And she most times does not understand what you tell her.  So be very patient with her."  First of all I know I have not divulged much of Abbie's special needs on here and that is for her privacy right now as well as the fact that I don't know exactly what to expect.  I did know that communication might be a problem.  And I did know her cognitive skills are poor - I do not know to what extent.  And I LOVE that her orphanage wanted me to know these things so I/we could be patient with her.  I find it somewhat funny that God chose to bring to me the queen of talking - two little girls who struggle with this so.  It actually brings tears to my eyes.  I have never struggled to make words come out of my mouth or struggled to even understand them - I have carelessly taken these two gifts of speech and comprehension for granted.

As I was typing God brought this to mind : we at church have been going through the book of Ephesians and in ch 4 it says this : "I therefore a prisoner of the Lord urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called with all humility and gentleness, with patience bearing with one another in love." and my favorite book Colossians in the 3rd chapter says "Put on then as God's chosen ones,  holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another....."  God has called me to this place, to adoption, to walk in manner worthy of Him, being His daughter, to be patient and bear with one another.  So Maoming friends who care so deeply for Abbie - yes we will by God's grace be patient and love her ultimately praying that she sees Him.  Praying that she will one day not only comprehend her adoption by our family but the adoption far greater - the gift of Him.

So does Abbie know we are coming tomorrow or even comprehend what's coming?  I have NO idea!! But HE does.  What I do know is to be prepared to be surprised.  Expect to be surprised!!  And I DO know that HE knows the unknown I am getting ready to walk into and HE sovereignly ordained it and is walking along side of me.  HE is weaving a story far greater than I can imagine.  HE is in control.  So thankful for these truths and really that is all I need to know.

So I must try and go back to sleep - big day coming!!  Its mothers day and I am going to be a mama again!!!

Much love to you all ~ LeighAnn

Jetlag, Beijing Day 1 and Hello Guangzhou!!

I soo should be in the bed trying to sleep but you could say jet lag is running its course on me!!  I think it has been much worse this time for me.  I wanted to blog last night (China time) but I was so super exhausted I couldn't think straight.  Aside from the jet lag and a little lost luggage we have had an amazing time so far!!  The kids have been amazing minus the moment that jet lag overtook Nathan.  They have been so good to go with the flow and take it all in.  Nathan has done well trying all kinds of different foods.  Today was the first day he actually piped up when we were discussing lunch plans and he said I want "american" food.  So of course we indulged and had some Mcdonalds!  Linnea has been saying "Ni Hao" like crazy!! It is so funny who would have thought Chinese words were easier to say than English!!  Beijing was so much fun and there is always so much to take in!!  Here is a little synopsis of our Beijing stay with pictures to follow.  

Friday morning after breakfast which Nathan coined the "best breakfast" he's ever had we headed out to the Great Wall.  The great wall is 670 km long and covers 3 different provinces.  We wanted to go to a different part of the Wall than where we went last year and we wanted to be able to ride cable cars for the kids. We drove about two hours out and climbed the Mu Tain Yu part of the Wall.  The weather was absolutely amazing.  We actually witnessed blue skies in China - that is so rare.  The temperature was not too hot and there was a beautiful breeze.  This is probably one of my favorite places in China.  It was Nathan's favorite part of the day.  After the Great Wall we stopped and had some lunch at a "simple" chinese restaurant - I am not sure there was anything simple about it - but that is what our guide kept calling it.  Speaking of our guide - Eric was so wonderful and I would highly recommend him to anyone visiting the Beijing area!!  After lunch we headed to the Olympic Village - it was a two hour ride back so we all fell asleep in the van as we were soo tired.  It was at the Village where the jetlag overcame Nathan.  He was so tired!!  So we did not stay super long.  We then went to the silk market so Nathan could see how silk was made.  After that Eric took us to the "Dr. Tea House" where w tried 4 different types of Chinese tea.  This was very relaxing and gave us a chance to refresh before meeting some friends for dinner.  I think besides the Great Wall this was one of my favorite parts of Beijing.  For Chinese their tea houses are like our Starbucks.  After tea we went to a local mall to meet some friends we met last year in China.  The Parkmans.  Our good friend Laura introduced us last year via email when we were in Beijing.  We ate at now one of my most favorite places to eat Din Tai Fung.  They have the most amazing Chinese dumplings hmmm hmm good!!  After dinner of all things the Parkmans took us to get foot massages.  Girlfriends we are being ripped off in the states!!  This was again totally fun and super cheap!!  One hour of foot massaging for less than $10 U.S. dollars - crazy!! These massage places are open until like 1 am and our friends told us its very popular for the locals - almost like we go see movies at night - the Chinese go get foot massages. 

Well I wanted to post all about Beijing on day two as well but I HAVE to get some sleep!! We made it to Guangzhou safe and sound with our luggage and my dear friend Miko was there to greet us at the airport!!  Such a sweet time for me to see her again!!  For now enjoy the pics from Friday and check fb for more and after I have a nap tomorrow which I will need - I will post some more!! Abbie day is coming soon!!!

I'm pinching myself....we made it to Beijing again!!

WOW!!!   We made it to Beijing!! As our plane was making its final descent into the city I got all those giddy feelings and was reminded of how much I love this country.  I can't believe I am here again and yes I am pinching myself!!   We had a little change of plans once we got to the airport in ATL.  Our original flight to Tokyo had been delayed by several hours and that was going to cause us to miss our connection to Beijing.  Thankful for the many prayers of our dear friends and family God worked it out and we were able to get on a different flight which went to Seattle and then on to Beijing.  I was thankful to have the short leg of the trip in front and the long leg last.  The kids (Nathan and Linnea) did exceptionally well.  They were pretty wired the first leg and we were not all sitting together - David and Nathan were in the back of the plane and Linnea and I were up toward the front.  Linnea was wired!!!  She is going to LOVE roller coasters.  She was giggling the whole take off!!  We were all sitting together on the second trip.  Linnea slept the majority of the last leg which was somewhat nice - I woke her up when we had a few hours left hoping she would sleep somewhat tonight here - but it is 3:20 am and well we are all pretty much awake!!  We all made it to Beijing but our luggage did not - likely due to the change in flights - it should be here tomorrow and thankfully we packed extra in our carry on so we are good to go.

I had every intention of blogging before I left as I had a gamut of emotions running around in my head and I wanted to remember everything I was feeling but I just didn't find the time.

We are so thankful for your prayers!! We are so excited to be here again.  God has been gracious to give us this privilege!!!

Tomorrow we head out to see the Great Wall.  How kind of God to let me experience China by myself and then with my husband and now with my first born.  Amazing!!

Well I probably should try to sleep.  We will update as we can - as I know what its like to be on the other side of the planet waiting for the updates :-)

night night from Beijing :-)

And so the journey begins......

WE'RE GOING TO CHINA!!!!

So (my favorite word as you know) I have been told I needed to update my blog... I won't mention any names Jenny Hord.... so here is a quick update!!  We are going to China!!! NEXT WEEK!!! But it won't be the same without you Jenny Hord!!  I/We will of course keep you updated while we are away and I am hoping to get in another update before we leave.  For now I am off to finish cleaning and packing!!  Abbie we are coming for real!!! ~Lord willing.