I wish I could say that I look back on that gotcha day and feelings of joy and happiness just erupt from my being - but that would not be truthful. We don't even have a ton of good pictures from that day as Abbie quickly took a turn for the worse. I feel like I am supposed to write about all things happy especially an event such as a gotcha day. Even as I type these thoughts out this wave of guilt comes over me and my thoughts go to - what if Abbie reads this one day - how in the world would this make her feel. Well truthfully speaking it is not likely she will even be able to physically read this nor can she comprehend or understand "feelings" all that well and communicating back and forth about things like this would actually be a miracle a truly welcome one at that. But none of that really matters because I would still be truthful with her for a plethora of reasons but mainly because in our story God's glory is radiantly displayed and thats what really matters. I don't have time to detail the last twelve months of our lives but I can say that even in the bad and when I hurt I wouldn't change it. Of course there are lots of parts I would love to not have to endure but as they say no pain no gain :-) Adoption is so messy (not the first time or last you will hear me say that) if it were not for Christ suffering for me I would not have been adopted into His family. Oh how God has grown me and for that I am so thankful.
"we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."
I can remember our first few months with Abbie like it was yesterday - Gotcha days and the days there after are very similar to my boys birth stories - God graciously allows me to remember them. I can vividly remember thinking give it time - it will get better. I would say this to myself over and over again, month after month. I can remember one afternoon/evening in particular when we were going through a particular rough patch and I really did not think I could be Abbie's mom. It was not working out for me!! I was not sure we were the right family for her. And I am not sure she thought we were any better - it is a traumatic event being taken away from all you have ever known and thrust into this new life. It was HARD!! Hard for everybody. I called a good friend who I knew would know what this felt like for real and she just encouraged me to press on and in a way that was just perfect for me and to think about how it really does get better as time goes on and then we prayed for one another. Can I just right now say I am so thankful for Godly adoptive mama friends!!!
Well here we are - the 12 month mark celebrating Abbie's first gotcha day home. We made it and during those first few months I wasn't so sure we would!! Are times still hard - yes. Have things gotten better - yes!! We are Abbie's family - God specifically called us to be and He specifically chose me to be her mama and it is an honor and a privilege. While there are times of hard there are also times of great joy. Have you seen the girls contagious smile. The one where everybody thinks she's happy ALL the time.
So you might be wondering what is smiley Abbie like - here are a few Abbie tidbits.
All about Abbie
She LOVES noodles - she would eat them 3x a day
Her favorite color is pink
She loves all things Hello Kitty
She loves to be the "mama hen"or the boss
She can say about 50 words
She is always carrying around something - sometimes its a deck of playing cards, sometimes its a pen and a notebook but she always has something
She is learning how to swim
I am hoping to get her gotcha day video posted soon so check back and see how far she has come. Thanks for keeping up with us!!