and the heartache.....
I have said it a million times before and I will say it a million times more - adoption is not for the faint of heart. So much of our lives have changed in the past two years and as one of my favorite broadway songs says "I've been changed for good..."
If I could put my thoughts into words - I would try but I am sure they would not do justice the emotion of this day.
Earlier today I took a video of Linnea and I will post it as soon as it loads. She has come miles since we first laid eyes on her. The most noticeable change is obviously she has found her voice. Oh how this brings me soo much joy to hear her little voice try and communicate with us. She is a brave and determined little girl - we have much to look forward to I am sure of.
As I rocked her to sleep tonight just as I did the first night I had her in the same pjs she wore the first night we had her - my thoughts drifted to her birth mom, and her foster mom. Oh what a sacrifice both of these women made. I often talk about Linnea's foster mom and every now and then I mention her "China mommy" and I asked her tonight if she thought her "China mommy" missed her and she said yes in this most precious tender voice - and oh she must be so right. In that very moment I was struck not for the first time or the last time at what a truly precious gift I have been given. There are just no words - I am simply far and above and beyond blessed to be this little girls mama. I am forever grateful to the "China mommy" for whatever her reasons may have been or maybe she just didn't have a choice - whatever the case maybe she gave me a gift and as a mama I know there has to be a hole in her heart. There is not doubt in my mind that her foster mama misses her - this was beyond evident when we got to meet with them our second trip back. Linnea was loved and so missed - I have thought of that dear woman often today as it marks the day she had to say goodbye to Linnea while I got to say hello for a lifetime - again a gift!!
Sweet Linnea Hope:
Oh my precious little bundle. Mommy and Daddy are beyond grateful to have you home with us. We thank God so much for the gift you are to us and our family. You have faced lots of opposition in your short lifetime and you are a fighter. You have a determination that is fierce, so keep fighting girl - you have LOTS of potential!! I know that one day you may have lots of questions that mommy and daddy can't answer but what we can do is point you to the ONE who does answers. You are learning that God made you and HE made you for HIS glory. It is our prayer that you will not just know Him but that you will know Him and His love for you. May you be a fighter for His kingdom sweet girl. We love you soo much!! Happy Gotcha Day!!
~mommy and daddy