I have so many many things that I would like to journal about here on our blog - but there just aren't enough hours in the day and I am sleepy right now and I have kids who will rise before dawn! So for now for tonight I just want to share a few thoughts and truly glory in my Redeemer.
I have been reading this book Glimpses of Grace by Gloria Furman.
First of all I love to read and second of all I feel like when I am reading this book that she the author Gloria is just talking with me over a cup of coffee at my kitchen table. God knew what book I needed to reading this summer in this season of my life. If you are a reader - buy this!! I am thankful for the sweet friend who gave it to me. All that to say is that is has provoked much thought into me as if I don't have anything else provoking my thoughts these days :-)
Do you see this picture above here - that picture is totally and completely a glimpse of HIS grace. That is what I call girl snuggle time. This photo is precious in so many ways. Linnea is actually happy to be in a photo with Abbie (that is another story for another night). And I know Abbie looks all smiles all the time - but its not always that way. This small act of snuggling with me was HUGE for her and for me. A few weeks ago neither one of us really liked the other one and snuggling was not really on our agenda. This is precious to me and I am beyond grateful for this moment - it is HIS grace. The very night after this snuggling took place - Abbie was not all smiles. As we put her to bed and tucked her in telling her we loved her and turning on her music I noticed something wasn't quite gelling this night but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Moments later she burst into tears and just cried. I have no idea why and of course she wasn't able to tell me what was wrong. So I laid down next to her and held her and let her cry and then I began to cry. I was so overcome with sadness ... I will never ever ever be able to empathize with either one of my girls. I will never know what it feels like to be abandoned - to be left completely alone. Even if I ever felt alone I know I am not really alone because God is everywhere always with me. And clearly He has always been with my girls preserving their lives for His glory and for sure I will share this truth with them. I can't know what it feels like to be taken from the only place you have ever known and brought to some other place where nothing is remotely the same not to mention the language barrier. I just kept thinking I can never feel what they feel - how will I ever be of any comfort to them I cannot empathize and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I know ONE who was left alone - completely and utterly alone - because HIS Father did turn His face completely away. I have goosebumps as I type. God the Father sent Jesus Christ here to earth and then at the very end when His life was literally hanging - He turned His face away - FOR ME, FOR MY GIRLS, FOR YOU!!!!!! Jesus Christ knows exactly how my daughters feel - and He was left to feel that way to give them HOPE!! So when those moments come and they will come I will tell them how much I love them and as much as I love them I know ONE who loves them more the ONE whose Father turned His face away - so they (I, you, we) could live.... and that my friends is why I Will Glory in My Redeemer.