Saturday, March 24, 2012

HIS grace is sufficient and HIS mercies are new....

Leaving Maoming exhausted - physically, mentally and emotionally!  Thankful for HIS grace!
I struggled for a while on what to title this post and then the Lord gently reminded me of these two verses, 2 Corinthians 12:9 " My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness...." and Lamentations 3:22 " The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; HIS mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning..."  For these promises I am very grateful!!!  This week has been such a whirlwind and these last couple of days have been draining - some physical and some emotional and I am sure there is more to come as we will meet Linnea's foster family on Monday.  Linnea won't see them but she will see Jenny and I think she may see Rose who is the medical care/foster coordinator for TCH and I am just not sure how all that will play out but I am sure it will be emotional!! Yesterday we visited the orphanage and Linnea's finding spot - there is much that could be attempted to be said but words really can't explain. And as the other family that was with us said on their blog the van ride to and from the orphanage could be a post in itself - it was quite the experience - the whole day!  DP put up some pictures and a wise friend who also happens to be an adopted mom shared with me that I didn't have to have words to share and if and when I did then I could share them so I will just leave that day to another time.

Linnea is sleeping right now and I just wanted to take a few minutes to journal some of my thoughts.  We just skyped the boys a few minutes ago and I am really missing them.  And to be completely honest I am I missing them because I know they like me 24/7 and well Linnea doesn't always like us right now! I also was telling DP earlier each time I had one of the boys I kind of grieved the fact that the last one wasn't going to be the baby anymore and I think I am feeling a little bit of that about Ethan - besides the fact that I am pretty sure I am going to face a challenge when we get home as I am sure there will be some jealousy going on.  Actually the first several days we were gone Ethan wouldn't even talk to me on skype he was pretty mad that I had gone off and left him. Thankfully we are back on speaking terms - but really I think it is because he is so enamored with his sister!!  He gets very disappointed when we skype and she is sleeping!! It was so fun tonight as she got tickled with the boys playing peek-a-boo with her!! I am so excited to see their reaction when we come home and they see her in person!!

Linnea had a really great day today.  In the adoption preparation world they tell you to expect the worst and hope and pray for the best.  We have had great success with her like today especially - she was quite the ham!!! We had been told that she was quiet and shy but let me tell you that was not the case today she had such personality and was soo funny!! She was giving me lots of  laughs and little giggles and sweet kisses!! She is quite the priss and I am loving every minute of  this girly girl stuff!!  But not every moment is a bed of roses and I certainly don't want to give the impression that we have it all under control and everything is perfect.  Each day is better than the day before and there have been lots of milestones but there also have been challenges.  Like the bathroom issue - she is potty trained but she is afraid of western toilets - kind of poses a small problem - but we figured out a short term solution for now and we will work on the rest later.  She also doesn't speak any words - not even in Chinese - she does point to what she wants and what she doesn't want - but it does make it difficult sometimes to know exactly what she is trying to express.  And she  is not being a really good eater - I really think it is her way of handling things right now. We have been told multiple times she is not a picky eater - but that's not really working out so much  - right now she eats some when she wants and what she wants.  Thankfully I have been a mom before and I know she will eat when she is hungry.  She has also decided she really likes to throw things and hit us - and not in a mean way - she thinks it's funny, and she still has the occasional melt down where she is just grieving, sometimes it feels like we have a newborn again. And while some of these issues are challenging and clearly I have my work cut out for me - I am thankful for these things for it is in those challenging moments that God's grace is evident - because HIS grace is sufficient and HIS power is made perfect in my weakness. And of course this is all worth every moment and I would do every moment over again and again.  Who said adoption was ever easy - after all my adoption wasn't easy and it was very costly.  But I am so thankful for the sacrifice made on my behalf - without it I would be lost. And I am thankful for the testimony of adoption.  Praise be to Him for the seeds that are planted because of adoption!!

Well it is late now and tomorrow is a new day with HIS new mercies and lots more loving and kisses from that sweet daughter of mine!!


Tara and Julian said...

Every word you are saying is so similar to our situation. While the weeks in China were tough, the first week home was even harder and we didn't have other children to attend to (just dogs.) Jorja still hasn't said a word, but has really come out of her shell and giggles and smiles a lot, even in these last 2 days and it has been so amazing to see them adapt so quickly! There are still lots of tantrums, especially from Bailey b/c I won't hold her 24/7 and make her walk, but then she gives me a huge smile the next minute. It melts my heart even when I am aggrevated with them.

Sorry I haven't been following along as closely as I had been, but glad I caught up. Can't wait to meet her one day! :)

Stephanie said...

Praying for you. :)