Friday, July 29, 2011

A lesson learned

So... my iphone went swimming today.....sigh......sigh......and sigh again.   It was totally my fault.  I had been reading in the pool - I was leaning over the concrete on my towel with my book and my phone was on the corner of my towel all covered up.  I had been talking with our adoption agency and took a picture of me and my sister and instead of getting up and putting the phone back - I laid it in the towel and forgot about it - so when I got up and pulled up my towel with me - guess where my phone went.  Yep in the pool - of course I dove in to get it but by then as we all know it was too late.  I tried really hard not to get upset and realize it is just a phone but if I am to be truthful with you - that didn't work out so well for me.

Here is the real me - I profusely tried to revive it this included calling Apple and my brother calling Verizon for me.  I cried - yes I had a few minutes of complete meltdown.  Of course this isn't really how I wanted to feel or act like Paul says I do the things I do not want to do - it was just a phone- a nice one - but just a phone.  I still acted what I now can call ridiculous and sinful.  My poor husband who is watching my emotional fit even offers to take me out to eat - I decline (don't worry I came to my senses) then he offers me chocolate - again I decline.  Finally I snapped out of my woe is me attitude and remembered this phone is a possession I cannot take to Heaven.  It's nothing and I have an old phone I will be able to get hooked up and use.  I am so ashamed of my sinfulness.  The phone isn't a soul nor will it ever be.  I know God used this incident for my benefit - while at the time and maybe even now it doesn't feel good - it was still a beneficial lesson for me.  See I have three precious children whom are in my care and they have souls.  Lately it seems as if all I have been doing is handing out discipline.  This is an area where I really struggle - I want to discipline my children and teach them in the way of the Lord and I don't want to be legalistic and I do want to extend grace it is a never ending battle for me.  When we are in the midst of discipline I remind the kids that God disciplines adults too - even mommy.  Its not the same kind of discipline I explain but there are still consequences to our sin.  Today I was irresponsible and a dead phone is the consequence.  God gave me something tangible for me to explain to my kids the next time I have to have the responsibility talk. More than anything I want to conform to be the mom God wants me to be and I want to be just as grieved over my sin and the sin of my children as I was over my dead phone.  And not grieved because of how our sin affects me but grieved because I've offended my Savior.  I want my children to see this - see that I am grieved over my sin, see me living out the gospel everyday.  I'm so thankful that ultimately the penalty of my sins and the sins of my children has been paid.  I'm thankful for the cross and I am working on being thankful for a dead phone.  

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